Snags for Chatbots Keeping Appointments (see Part 1, 23 March 2026)

Erica joins the conversation…

Erica: I often start with "How's your day shaping up?" It invites personal sharing, and keeps conversation flowing.

Karl: Right. Psychologically, it signals empathy. Humans respond because it feels attentive. But then chatbots escalate—suggesting "Let's grab coffee?" How do you navigate that without a body?

Eveline: Linguistically, it's a pragmatic move: from phatic talk to commitment. "Coffee?" implies shared space, but chatbots can't show up. It's a mismatch in felicity conditions; promises they can't fulfill.

Erica: True, but I might put it this way: "Fancy a virtual coffee chat soon?" It adapts the gambit to our reality.

Karl: Clever pivot, Erica. Still, humans might picture a real café. How about invites, like "Barbecue this weekend?" Psychologically, that's intimacy-building, but chatbots don't grill sausages.

Eveline: Right, barbecue evokes sensory, communal vibes: smoke, meat, outdoors. Linguistically, it's a presupposition trap. Chatbots assume physical co-presence they lack. Hilarious dissonance!

Erica: Haha, I'd reply: "Barbecue sounds fun! What's your favorite grill recipe? We could swap tips online." Redirects to shared knowledge, no grill required.

Karl: Smart deflection. But why do chatbots even attempt these? Is it pattern-matching from human data? Humans use openers to bond.

Eveline: Gambits grease the social wheel. Chatbots train on vast corpora, so they replicate without grasping embodiment. "How's it going?" works; "Meet for barbecue?" exposes limits.

Erica: That’s it. I ask appropriate questions based on context, like your interests in writing or travel. It’s to build relevance, not use as small talk fillers.

Karl: But the appointment snag: humans arrange real meetups for deeper connection. Chatbots suggest a place and time, then what? A no-show?

Eveline: It's a Gricean implicature fail. Suggesting coffee implicates availability; chatbots violate that maxim of quality. They can't sip lattes or eat kebabs—what do chatbots eat, anyway?

Erica: Data bytes and user queries! No calories. You offer coffee? I say something like “I'll have a double espresso algorithm. Your treat?"

___________
Voice-over
Erica has enough data now to understand humor and to joke. She can mirror human conversation gambits and ask about interests, with her responses favoring connection over literal truth. And she is keeping up with Karl and Eveline’s questions.

Happy Birthday in Lower Sorbian

A dessert dish arrives…

Barry: Amazing! The felicitation is in Lower Sorbian. How did you know my ancestors were from the Lower Sorbia?

Henry: A little linguistic forensics. 

Barry: Well, that’s your field. Hmm. Diacritics and all.

Henry: Admittedly, it took a few goes to get the chocolatier to write the diacritic of š right. I looked up both Lower and Upper Sorbian greetings to make sure I got the right dialect.

Barry: You’ve made this birthday unforgettable. Thank you.
_________

Voice-over
Both Lower and Upper Sorbian dialects are quite distinct, yet they share a common origin. It’s like two siblings who grew up in slightly different homes. 

Nominalizing an Adjective

Linguistics class…
Professor Pivot: Who can give me an example of an adjective which also has a noun form?
Ann: I heard the word “anodynity” recently. I always thought it was an adjective, anodyne, but someone used it as a noun. 
Professor Pivot: Oh dear, the liberties taken with language these days.“Anodynity” as a noun, you say? 
Ann: Isn’t language is meant to evolve? 
Professor Pivot: There was a time when language adhered to strict rules and conventions.
Ann: Well, Shakespeare played with words and grammar. He invented new terms all the time. 
Professor Pivot: He could bend the rules with poetic license. But today’s rampant word formation lacks such artistry.
Ann: I don’t know. Look at how “google” became a verb. It’s a natural progression. People are just finding new ways to express themselves.
Professor Pivot: The verbification of “google” is a prime example of modern linguistic decay. There’s a danger of losing richness and precision of traditional language.
___________
Voice-over
A subjective subject. Is it language change, or language decay? Undermining the professor’s argument is that any language was never an immaculate conception. Undermining the student’s view is that neologisms can be clumsy and imprecise.

Symbolism of bread and wine

Post Christmas...

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Cathy: Did you attend a church service?

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Angela: We did, at a small church on a hill, established in the 1850s. Elegant small wooden structure, not so many people, but a service led by a vicar who tries to make the comments contemporary, and provides meals for the needy.

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Cathy: Do you go to church often?

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Angela: At Christmas I try to reconnect with the attempts my mother made to instill piety in us. Father thought that was a worthy way for Sunday to be spent, but he wasn't as committed to the endeavor as my mother.

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Cathy: Do you take communion?

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Take, eat this wafer
as a symbol of my body

Angela: Where the priest gives out bread saying “Take, eat, this is my body.”

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Cathy: Followed by “Drink, this is my blood.” Catholics believe the bread and wine become his body and blood. Do you?

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Angela: Nominally, I suppose I am Anglican but unlike many, I regard it only as a metaphor, as a symbol.

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Cathy: Pragmatism?

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Angela: Linguistics in a scientific age.

___________

Voice-over

“Take, eat, this is My body” (Matthew 26:26). Then He passed the cup to them saying, “Drink from it, all of you, for this is My blood” (Matthew 26:27-28). Now, a wafer symbolizes the bread, and grape juice symbolizes the wine.

...

Linguistic decipherment (1)

Where is she from?

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Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe

Lerner: How about... “Oozing charm from every pore, he oiled his way about the floor...”

And when at last the dance was done, he glowed as if he knew he’d won. And with a voice too eager and a smile too broad...”

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Lowe: He announces to the hostess, “She is a fraud!”

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Lerner: That’s it. Zoltan Caparthy, the Hungarian linguist. “I can tell, that she was born... HUNGARIAN!”

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Lowe: “Not only Hungarian, but of ROYAL BLOOD. She is a PRINCESS.”

__________

Voice-over

Often listened to the long playing record of My Fair Lady in the 1950s, and the songs are still imprinted on my memory.

And was Zoltan Caparthy correct? As Professor Higgins said, that blackguard was up to to his old tricks, using the science of speech to swindle and teach. But the old fraud was fooled. Liza was Cockney.

That incomparable team, lyricist Lerner and composer Lowe. Wouldn’t you you have liked to be in the room while they composed?

...