Showing posts with label editing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label editing. Show all posts

Thursday, April 25, 2019

Turmeric and Trimming


Taking medicine, taking counsel…
.
Disciple: Took your advice and tried a capsule of turmeric.
.
Master: And?
.
Disciple: Stomach pains receded, and joint pain decreased.
.
Master: And what effect did that have on your day?
.
BEFORE
Disciple: Got to work. Tidied up my PowerPoint slides.
.
Master: Good. You’d used a lot of unedited screenshots.
.
Disciple: Yes. Took your advice on that one too. I rebuilt them directly onto the slide by cutting and pasting.
_________
AFTER
Voice-over
Artists often seek to reduce a subject to its essential lines and colors. Cutting clutter in a picture is why paintings can look better than a photograph of the same scene. PPT too. Too much reality, too much detail, too much noise.
...

Friday, August 9, 2013

The Brevity of the Headless Chicken


A pot calls a kettle black…
Dan Q: How was your day?
Tony B: Been running around like a headless chicken.
Dan Q: You mean a chicken with his head cut off?
Tony B: Perhaps. But that takes six words and headless chicken is two.
Dan Q: Two doesn’t tell the whole story.
Tony B: But it beats about the bush, it’s lexiphantic.
Dan Q: Excuse me, lexiphantic isn’t a word…
Tony B: Consider it to mean using six words when two will do.
Dan Q: Words like “lexiphantic” are confusticating.
Tony B: You mean “confusing.” We probably both need an editor to watch what we say.
_____________
Voice-over
Paraphrasing Polonius: “Since brevity is the soul of wit, I will be brief: you beat about the bush, but let that go.”
 For example: Alistair Cooke in his acceptance speech for the 'Best Speaker of English' award in 1998, parodied a US Government representative's version of Genesis 1:3:
 "The Supreme Being mandated the illumination of the Universe and this directive was enforced forthwith."
Cooke then compared this with the King James version:
"And God said, Let there be light: and there was light."

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Needless to say...


The manager speaks…
Let me begin by saying (1) that there may be a problem. That said(2), I feel sure it can be solved. Needless to say(3), there are sacrifices(4), we must all pitch in to overcome the issue, think outside the box on it, and run it up the flagpole to achieve a paradigm shift, so at the end of the day, we will all come out of it better people and ready to go forward(5).
_____________
Voice-over
Suggested rewrite:
We need to make cuts in spending (what). A meeting tomorrow for everyone (who), 8 am sharp, (when), in the multipurpose room (where), to figure out a way how to pay this year’s tax (why).

  1. A declaration doesn’t need an introduction. Declare it.
  2. Giving reassurance is not necessary before a solution.
  3. If it is needless to say, it is needless to say.
  4. A warning followed by an exhortation is better replaced by details of the plan.
  5. Summarizing the "who," "when" and "where" is more effective than stringing transitions together.