Carnivore vs Vegan

Down the road from the farmers market...

Helen: Nice boots. Did the cow die of natural causes?
Grace: I’m sure it did. Vintage, thank you very much. Reduce, reuse, re-wear.
Helen: Touché. But at least my wardrobe doesn’t scream “I gave up meat but kept the wardrobe of a Bond villain.”
Grace: And yours doesn’t scream, “peace, love, and pulled pork”?
Helen: I am at peace—with my food chain. Circle of life. Hakuna Matata.
Grace: Circle of hypocrisy. Hugging trees, wearing plants, then biting into a burger like it owes you money.
Helen: Pu-lease. You drive a gas-guzzler and preach emissions. Your oat milk alone could drain a lake.
Grace: Okay, water wars aside, let’s talk ethics. A cotton-wearing bacon-eating yogi?
Helen: And you’re a leather-bound contradiction. Kale crusader in cowhide.
Grace: You know, we could both just admit we’re doing our best and leave it at that.
Helen: But where’s the fun in that? Brunch on Saturday?
Grace: Only if there’s a vegan option.
Helen: Jonathan’s does a side dish of salad.
___________
Voice-over
For these two, each always tries to have the last word. Jousting carries judgement. And as Grace, feisty for a vegan, says, “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

A one-color wardrobe

Simple green…

Hiromi: I have to ask what’s with all your clothes being green? You have a desire to be a tree? 
Jiro: Ha! No secret pact, simple strategy. Fewer choices in the morning means less time wasted deciding what to wear. I wake up, pull on my green gear, no hesitation, no second thoughts.
Hiromi: Is picking a shirt color really that stressful? 
Jiro: It’s not about stress—it’s about efficiency. If my wardrobe is just green, there’s no room for unnecessary decisions. 
Hiromi: But doesn’t that get a bit dull? A little variety wouldn’t hurt.
Jiro: Variety means deliberation. Deliberation means wasted time. Green works. Like in shopping. I walk into UNIQLO, I scan for green, grab it, and I’m out before the agony of choosing can set in.
Hiromi: Taking minimalism to the next level. Impressive… and alarming.
Jiro: It's just applied simplicity. Less decision fatigue, more mental energy for things that actually matter.
Hiromi: I feel like you’d wear green even if the only options were neon lime or mossy swamp. 
Jiro: Within reason! I’m not going for any radioactive look.
Hiromi: Imagine if UNIQLO stopped selling green. Wouldn’t that be an existential crisis? 
Jiro: I’d just find a new store—or stockpile enough green to last a lifetime.
Hiromi: If we ever go to a formal event, please don’t tell me you’ll just wear a green suit. 
Jiro: I have limits. I can make exceptions for tuxedos.
____________
Voice-over
So Jiro’s system is based on eliminating unnecessary fashion choices, optimizing shopping efficiency, and avoiding daily wardrobe dilemmas. And green is a soothing color.

Linen

The incredible lightness of linen…

Fred: Avocado smoothies sure cool you inside but I wish I could stay cool outside too.

Sheldon: Maybe ditch those long trousers. Guaranteed to cook your legs in this heat!

Fred: They’re natural, they’re cotton. But yeah, they do get pretty warm. Got any suggestions, Mr. Fashion Guy?

Sheldon: You should try linen trousers. I know a great tailor who makes them.
Fred: Linen, huh? Don’t they crease?

Sheldon: True, they do wrinkle. But think about it; linen is breathable, so you’ll stay cool. And so lightweight.

Fred: Anything else?

Sheldon: Well, it’s absorbent, so no more sweaty legs. And it’s hypoallergenic, so your skin will thank you.

Fred: Environmentally?

Sheldon: Oh, yeah, eco-friendly! Made from flax plants, which need less water and fewer pesticides than cotton. You can look good and feel good.

___________

Voice-over

Linen is made from European flax, Linum usitatissimum, noted for its high quality fibers and nutritious seeds. Coincidentally perhaps, France, noted for its fashion and cuisine, produces 75% of the world’s retted flax.

Hairdrying Socks

After breakfast at the inn…
Louise: Ugh, my socks are still wet! I washed them last night, but they just won’t dry.
Sandra: Use the hairdryer. That should speed things up.
Louise: Good idea! Hmm, it’s not really working. They’re still damp.
Sandra: Oh, look, try this. It works much faster if you poke the nozzle of the hairdryer into the top of the sock so it balloons up. Like this.
Louise: But won’t the socks get too hot?
Sandra: Set it to low heat and keep checking the temperature. Otherwise, you’ll end up with a hole at the top and the bottom of the sock. Hah!
Louise: Got it. Ah! This is quick!
_________
Voice-over
Useful hack if the hotel doesn’t have a laundry. Take care not to blow up the hairdryer.

Necktie cautions

Picasso around a neck…

Lorenzo: An eyecatching necktie.

Barolo: I bought it to go to art exhibitions.

Lorenzo: So you wear it to make a statement?

Barolo: Actually, I’ve only worn it once or twice. I used to wear quieter ones every day when I had a job.

Lorenzo: Every day?

Barolo: Well not on weekends, and summer was “cool biz”, an open necked shirt. You never wear one?

Lorenzo: I like simplicity, saves time dressing before I run out the door, it’s merely decoration, I mean it’s not like a belt which holds your pants up, there’s even medical reasons like it restricts blood flow to the brain and might even contribute to eye problems like glaucoma.

Barolo: Maybe I’ll rethink doing neck decorations.

________

Voice-over

Croatians, wearers of cravats, seem to have started the trend. 

Decorator crabs and cosplay

Decoration as disguise and defence…

.

Moshe: Certain crabs are supposed to beautify themselves with seaweed.

Will: I think you are referring to decorator crabs. Don’t you mean they try to disguise themselves?

Moshe: Isn’t that what dress is about? Beautification is an act of disguise.

Will: I understand some crabs also drape themselves with toxic algae to protect against predators.

Moshe: Yes. Some human costumes look toxic too.

__________

Voice-over

Do you think they'll see us?

The Majoidea crabs which attach materials to their shells do so to hide from, or to ward off predators. Most people decorate themselves to stand out from the background, to attract attention. For a few however, the act of decoration may be to isolate themselves or occasionally hide.

...

Getting up early

9:45 AM in the classroom.

...

Teacher: You’re late.
Student: I know.
Teacher: Get up late?
Student: Not late. Five AM actually.
Teacher: FIVE! You’re kidding me. FIVE! What WERE you doing?
Student: Stuff. Just stuff. Like choosing what clothes to wear today.
Teacher: Five hours to choose clothes and get to school! You’re, what 50 minutes…?
Student: Forty, actually. But I went home once.
Teacher: Huh, Forgetting…?
Student: Didn’t forget. Got halfway here and then realized my T shirt color wasn’t right so I went back to change.
Teacher: You’re joking me.
Student: Not really. It’s true. Sorry.
Teacher: Sorry’s not in my dictionary. Not for this sort of excuse.
Student: Hmm, guess not. Well, sorry anyway.

______________
Voice-over

I am NOT making this up. Male students are crossing gender behavior lines. The teacher can do no more than express incredulity in two protestations that this is all just a put-on: “You’re kidding me!” “You’re joking me.”

...