Smallest Air BnB in Tassie

Emerging from Richmond Gaol…
Geoff: Well—I'm a free man again!
Hector: Not so fast, mate. Nobody leaves Richmond Gaol without serving time at the gift shop.
Geoff: Ha! Thought I’d done my time in there. You mean I’ve got to pay for my freedom?
Hector: That’s the system, friend. Ticket in, trinket out. It’s a strict parole policy here.
Geoff: Got any caps? In green?
Hector: Green? You’re in luck. Tasmanian gumleaf.
Geoff: Hm. Nice fit. But I’d feel like I was marked. Or out on parole.
Hector: Wear it with pride. Everyone leaves here with something—souvenir, trauma, or both.
Geoff: Speaking of trauma, that solitary confinement cell… that’s grim.
Hector: Smallest Airbnb in Tasmania. No windows, no Wi-Fi.

Small Air BnB

Geoff: I stood in there for thirty seconds and felt my sanity slipping.
Hector: Some say they can hear ghosts.
Geoff: And the flogging room—those iron hooks on the beam… Gives you chills.
Hector: Ah, the “exercise room.” 
Geoff: How do you put up with it?
Hector: I’m two years into my sentence here. First six months I jumped every time a door slammed.
Geoff: Two years, eh? What did you do to get posted here?
Hector: Poor career planning. Didn’t read the fine print on “Heritage Interpretation Officer.”
_________________
Voice-over
Geoff got off lightly with a green prison cap, remarking he was lucky he wasn’t an inmate back in the 1830s. 

Go-around

Cockpit communication
First Officer: Problem in the cabin. Flight attendant just collapsed. Tom is doing initial assessment: checking airway, respiration, and circulation.
Captain: Understood. Ask him how long until the cabin is secured for landing.
First Officer: Twenty minutes to address medical emergency and secure the cabin. Meal trays are still out but not yet collected.
Captain: Twenty minutes? We're only fifteen from touchdown. 
First Officer: Maybe declare a medical emergency with ATC. We won't have time to land safely with the cabin unsecured.
Captain: We'll initiate a go-around. This should give the crew the extra time needed to stabilize the situation and secure the cabin properly. Wheels up.
_______________
Voice-over
So we did go round again. The passengers had to wolf down their curries before trays were hastily collected. And on landing the flight attendant was taken off first.

White Orange Rabbit

Time for the WHITE RABBIT, WHITE RABBIT, WHITE RABBIT incantation. For white read Orange as we broomstick out of an ochre October into an amber November.

Halloween has been unavoidable manywheres recently, but I was surprised the other day by the special orange menu outside an INDIAN restaurant, Roti Boti. Curries, nans, rices – all orange. Lashings of turmeric and plenty of pumpkin evidently. The proprietor had given the rabbits a Halloween gig conditional on showing up in orange fur. Takings were apparently up, but there is uncertainty if it was the color of the curries, or the color of the rabbit chefs.
Almost tempted to upgrade to an orange phone.

Charlie and Mamachari

Borrowing a bicycle…
Charlie: I need to pop down to the shops.
Hiroshi: うん、いいよ。うちの二台目の自転車、使っていいよ。Use my Mama-chari.
Charlie: A what? Sorry—did you say mama Charlie? My name?
Hiroshi: ちがうよ！ママチャリ。Mama-chari. Not your name! Means “mother’s bike”.
Charlie: Oh, like a shopping bike? Does it have gears?
Hiroshi: 三段だけ。でも坂道はちょっときついよ。Have basket and gears three.
________________
Voice-over
A totally practical Japanese bicycle… ママfor mother, チャリ short for charinko, link to “chariot” undetermined.

The Ballerina also READS

Coping with a feisty research assistant…

Antonio: I need a summary of Mali’s history by close of play today.
Olivia: I have a ballet class this afternoon.
Antonio: OK. Midday?
Olivia: I’ll try. Need new reading glasses, you know.
Antonio: Get me all you can about Mansa Musa. If it’s good, I’ll foot the bill for new reading glasses.
Olivia: And new ballet shoes?
Antonio: Give an inch, they take a mile.
__________
Voice-over
Ad for a position considered: “Rigorous reading assistant needed.” Not mentioned: “No drama queens or ballerinas.” But what fun is scholarship without a bit of riposte?

Carnivore vs Vegan

Down the road from the farmers market...

Helen: Nice boots. Did the cow die of natural causes?
Grace: I’m sure it did. Vintage, thank you very much. Reduce, reuse, re-wear.
Helen: Touché. But at least my wardrobe doesn’t scream “I gave up meat but kept the wardrobe of a Bond villain.”
Grace: And yours doesn’t scream, “peace, love, and pulled pork”?
Helen: I am at peace—with my food chain. Circle of life. Hakuna Matata.
Grace: Circle of hypocrisy. Hugging trees, wearing plants, then biting into a burger like it owes you money.
Helen: Pu-lease. You drive a gas-guzzler and preach emissions. Your oat milk alone could drain a lake.
Grace: Okay, water wars aside, let’s talk ethics. A cotton-wearing bacon-eating yogi?
Helen: And you’re a leather-bound contradiction. Kale crusader in cowhide.
Grace: You know, we could both just admit we’re doing our best and leave it at that.
Helen: But where’s the fun in that? Brunch on Saturday?
Grace: Only if there’s a vegan option.
Helen: Jonathan’s does a side dish of salad.
___________
Voice-over
For these two, each always tries to have the last word. Jousting carries judgement. And as Grace, feisty for a vegan, says, “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Travels with a Cactus

Staying with a friend…

Sylvia: You travel with a cactus?
Antonia: That’s Rolenzo. I’m writing a book. Working title: Travels with My Cactus.
Sylvia: Graham Greene?
Antonia: But Rolenzo doesn’t chatter so much as an auntie. Very supportive. Just sits and listens.
Sylvia: I see he has a red streak.
Antonia: Everyone needs a bit of red in their life.
Sylvia: That pencil case? Be strong as cactus. And it’s green. You’re obsessed. Everything you own is green. Your bag, your water bottle, even your socks.
Antonia: Green is soothing. Like moss. Or tea leaves.
Sylvia: Does Rolenzo get a dedication?
Antonia: Of course. Page one.
__________
Voice-over
Antonia goes on to explain why Rolenzo is a perfect travel companion. Doesn’t need to be taken on walks or go sightseeing. “I am enough of a sight,” Antonia heard him whisper once.  Just a stoic little traveller who absorbs sunlight and doesn’t complain.

Offer of designing a hotel

1885 Job interview…
Lady Burdett-Coutts: I heard you picked up a building and moved it.
CT: Ah, yes. Chicago. It had its difficulties, being brick. Some fell off. But we did it. Big crane. Leverage. Steam. Lifted it up, turned it around and plonked it down on the piles prepared on the other side of the street.
LBC: My advisors were impressed. So they suggested you design a hotel for Southend on Sea. In brick. It would not need lifting.
CT: I have a year ahead of me.
LBC: You are not staying in England?
CT. It remains to be seen. There are opportunities in the Antipodes I hear.
LBC: Ah, you’ve been reading Samuel Butler?
CT: Actually the New Zealand Company prospectuses.
LBC: Well, we’d better press you into service before you leave us again.
___________
Voice-over
Who knows what other buildings CT would have designed in England? But he migrated to other shores, other stories. But before setting sail, he left this one which stood for eighty years.

Westward Ho

White Mooncake Rabbit

It’s mooncake time when the Jade Rabbit in the moon pounds the elixir of immortality (I’m a bit keen on that). Full of ingredients like lotus seed paste, red beans, seeds, nuts, salted egg yolk. So DON’T eat three mooncakes at one sitting. Not even ONE. (They DO carry health warnings). A quadrant with a cup of tea. With friends. Oh, and incant “WHITE RABBIT” THREE TIMES first thing on 1st October (even in a scientific world, I still give a nod to my grandmother’s superstitions - just in case).

A Dream of Red Mansions

At the theater…

Harold: Are you, by any chance Professor White?

Professor White: I am.

Harold: I’m Harold, I took your Chinese Literature course in Melbourne.

Professor White: But that was, 1972? Fifty years ago?

Harold: You wrote me reference. It got me a job.

Professor White: Happy it worked. Are you in academia?

Harold: Not as illustriously as you. You’ve published more than a hundred books and papers.

Professor White: Well. It’s a niche subject. Not many Westerners care to persevere.

Harold: I remember you took us through Hong Lou Meng. 

Professor White: Ah, so that’s why you’re here.

Harold: I couldn’t pass on a ballet performance of it 50 years later. And to bump into my Chinese professor at the same performance. An incredible coincidence. Here of all places!

____________

Voice-over

Glorious production. Never thought when I was wrestling with Chinese Lit in 1972, that the story of Baoyu playing around as his family disintegrates, that I could chance on a ballet performance of it 50 years later. AND meet my Chinese professor there. It’s worth staying alive for the surprises history springs.

1847: Francis Rejoins the Family Firm

Bernard urges a thoughtful Francis…
Francis: Feels oddly familiar yet foreign. London’s hustle has its own rhythm.
Bernard: It’s in your blood. Insurance, tallying—that kind of hands-on experience is valued. Though I have to ask—what’s this tale about advising Turkish Navy captains? it sounds more like an exotic adventure than my day-to-day work.
Francis: Ah, yes. Well, there was a lot of intrigue around Trieste. But the real story is less glamorous. Mostly figuring out their cargo losses and insurance claims while learning  local languages.
Bernard: Well, even so, you’ve got the experience. The business could benefit immensely. And we’ve got our father’s legacy to consider.
Francis: Speaking of father… his passing was such a blow. Tragic circumstances. Sorry I was so far away, India… Are you sure about this? Do you really think I should join you? After all, you’ve been running it here all along.
_________
Voice-over
Bernard persuades Francis to join the family firm, to complement Bernard’s London presence with the international experience of Francis. And who would have thought that their firm would still have brothers working in shipping insurance more than a hundred years later.

Setting out from Berlin 1796

Family meeting…

Rene: Berlin has limits, but London… it’s buzzing with ships, trade, and opportunity for an underwriter.
Father: Clearly, nothing we can say will dissuade you. And this… Lloyds, you say, will be your base?
Rene: A coffee shop. It’s where all the shipping news is daily shared. 
Mother: I still worry about highwaymen.
Rene: Berlin to Hamburg by carriage, then sail across the North Sea to London. The sea journey is long but safer.
Sarah: And what if soldiers stop you, getting suspicious of travelers amid all the unrest?
Rene: I have proper papers, explaining my journey as a merchant.
Father: And lodging? London isn’t kind to newcomers without a roof over their heads.
Rene: I’ve heard of cheap rooms near the docks where many sailors and traders stay. It’s humble but close to the action.
Genevieve: It’s brave of you to try. Better a life of risks and chances than one of waiting. I wish I were a man.
Father: Just mind your pockets on the road and your wits in the city.
Rene: I’ll keep my pockets tight and my wits sharper.
__________
Voice-over
The family wishes Rene well and sister Genevieve hopes that London can change his destiny and perhaps hedge the family fortune in these troubled Napoleonic times.

A talk with an underwriter in 1802

A booth at the coffee shop… 

Mr. Norton: Your porcelain shipment is a fragile commodity. The charge for insurance is contingent upon the declared worth thereof, and the character of the vessel employed.
Mr. Darcy: And what sort of vessel would you deem most fit for such goods in these times?
Mr. Norton: A sound merchantman, sir, possessed of a firm reputation. A packet ship, or an East Indiaman of robust build, would best secure your wares against the perils of the ocean.
Mr. Darcy: And what premium might be expected for coverage of said shipment?
Mr. Norton: Generally, one might reckon a rate of from three to five percent upon the cargo’s value. Given the unsettled nature of the seas, owing to the ongoing continental wars, the higher rate would naturally apply.
Mr. Darcy: Are circumstances presently perilous?
Mr. Norton: Quite so. The Napoleonic conflicts impart notable hazards—privateers, naval blockades. Such perils must be borne by mind and purse alike.
_________
Voice-over

Mr Norton, an underwriter with a good reputation, explains customary clauses relating to claims, delays and indemnification, and gives advice on selecting a well-appointed vessel under the command of a captain known for careful conduct. A further appointment is arranged for the signing of a contract.

Sarawak Laksa

Choon Hui Café 06:45 am…
Antonio: Sarawak Laksa. Medium size. Coffee and Poppia.
Mei: Poppia maker’s not in today, sorry lah.
Antonio: This was where he sat, right?
Mei: He sat there. Quietly. He finished the whole bowl.

Antonio: Breakfast of the gods. No photo of him up? The episode was filmed here.
Mei: Some things better left. He came as a guest.
Antonio: I understand. Pin the picture and trap the spirit.
Mei: Respect.
___________
Voice-over
There are many laksas. The Choon Hui Café laksa is special though. 

White Borneo Rabbit

WHITE RABBIT

WHITE RABBIT

WHITE RABBIT

Arriving in present day Sarawak was not quite the Borneo that Biggles flew into in a Beaufighter in WWII but still required moderate levels of planning such as digital entry card, changing flights at KL, initiating Grab for transport, securing DEET sprays for mozzies against malaria, dengue and encephelitis, and vocabulary for indigenous languages. Biggles only had headhunters to deal with.