Installing AirMac Extreme

After three hours trying to get the AirMac Extreme base station to work on the wireless LAN, Steve calls up the AppleCare helpdesk.

 ...

Helpdesk: Click on the PPoE option.

Steve: What? Not the DHCP option?

Helpdesk: No, not the DHCP.

Steve: OK. The PPoE it is. Hey, that’s it! We’re on. Safari got the homepage! Three machines online! Now we can go back to some real work!

Helpdesk: Your case number is 4760721. Have a nice day.

Steve: You betcha. Think you could add some pictures to those dialogue boxes?

Helpdesk: I'll talk to my boss.

_____________________

Voice-over

Wrestling through it by yourself, coming to terms with terms like DHCP and PPoE, can take hours. Getting grumpy and often blaming the blameless. Even though some dialogue boxes carry arcane terminology and not enough pictures.

Consulting a expert who advises on this every day might only take a few minutes. Leaving time to triumphantly trumpet, “Now we can go back to some real work!” 

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Paul Newman and Robert Redford

Charles and Leonard discuss Paul Newman’s death.

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Charles: Paul Newman died.

Leonard: Great actor. Lived in a small community. Ran a 250 million dollar business and gave away all profits to charity. Had quality friends.

Charles: Robert Redford.

Leonard: Helps to have someone like that say things like, “Certain friendships are too good and too strong to talk about ,” when you pass on. Some people you owe the debt of your identity to. Sundance became Sundance.

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Voice-over

Memorable quotes:

from: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)

Butch Cassidy: You know, when I was a kid, I always thought I'd grow up to be a hero.

Sundance Kid: Well, it's too late now.

Butch Cassidy: What'd you say that for? You didn't have to say something like that.

from: The Sting (1973)

Johnny Hooker: He's not as tough as he thinks.

Henry Gondorff: Neither are we.

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Paparazzi

Would-be paparazzi students Wang and Jang are trying to catch a photo of the new prime minister as he comes out of a lunch meeting.

...

Wang: This is hard work. My cousin gets his news from the internet, rewrites it, downloads a photo, photoshops it, then files the story as an email attachment from a coffee shop.

Jang: He’ll be caught out someday.

Wang: Says when the game’s up he’ll just set up as a fashion model photographer.

Jang: Even harder than what we do. All posed, no scandal, no story. We just might catch him with a fashion model.

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Voice-over

Picture worth a thousand words?

Celeb-stalking can be lucrative. One picture a thousand dollars? Picture with story (who, where, what, when, why….) and the fee for the package can go ten times higher.

Paparazzi 101: a subject now taught in art school.

Moral of the story

Emi and Mai have been given the task of thinking of a story with a moral in communication class.

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Emi: The news always has good stories.

Mai: That one, that one about the baby dropped from the third floor.

Emi: I know, and it landed in the net and didn’t cry, like nothing had happened.

Mai: Weak moral though.

Emi. Ignorance is bliss?

Mai: Maybe. How about the one about the twenty elderly people caught in a bus in a flood.

Emi: They all drowned?

Mai: They cut up the curtains and made a rope and climbed out onto the roof.

Emi: Necessity is the mother of invention?

Mai: That’ll do.

_____________

Voiceover

For a ready-made moral, try attaching a proverb to a story. Quick and easy.

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Being there

JB has bought an expensive pair of earphones, better than FG's standard issue.

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FG: But, c’mon, why spend that much? You get a free set of earphones with your iPod. Why would you want to spend more than the music player on just another set of earphones?

JB: Upgrade. More than an upgrade. Think of it this way. You’ve got this great stream of music in the player and it reaches your ears through a pathetic little pipe.

FG: Doesn’t say much. You can still hear what’s coming through.

JB: OK. Sound coming through those little el-cheapo one-dollar earphones is merely dynamic vibrations. These earphones have three mini-amplifiers, each dedicated to a different range of frequencies. They separate the sounds so you hear each instrument, like seeing bright colors instead of a muddy blur.

FG: Really?

JB: Not only that but the earphones sit tightly in your ears and block out surrounding sounds.

FG: Is it worth the extra?

JB: It’s like being there. Actually being there. Your eyes start to see what your ears hear.

__________________

Voiceover

JB is on the defence but he’s marshalling some convincing arguments.

He reinforces (Upgrade. More than an upgrade… like being there, actually being there…).

He uses contrast by denigrating the lesser product (el-cheapo one-dollar… pathetic little pipe…).

His similes show the upgrade in a superior light (like seeing bright colors instead of a muddy blur).

Oh, he alliterates and rhymes (You start to see what your ears hear). Poetic style. He gets my vote despite the economics.

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Fortune telling

Noah visits a fortune teller.

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Fortune Teller: What would you like to know?

Noah: I would like to know what will happen. That’s what you do?

Fortune Teller: I cannot guarantee everything I say will happen. But I can see that something will happen to you before the end of the year.

Noah: To do with relationships?

Fortune Teller: There will be changes in the lives of those close to you. This will also affect your fortunes. You should take care of your health.

Noah: Bad luck?

Fortune Teller: There is a cycle. Bad luck it may be but good luck will surely follow.

Noah: I have a future?

Fortune Teller: You have a long future. In this life and the next. Go long on futures.

______________
Voiceover

Fortune telling is the art of suggesting everything by saying nothing. Delivering with an air of suitable gravitas. And backing yourself up by offering no guarantees.

Try reading someone else’s horoscope this week as your own. Everything written will come to pass. It’s all in the large print.

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Fennel or dill?

There is discussion over whether one of the herbs at the restaurant is fennel or dill.

...

William: Isn’t it fennel?

Shastra: It’s dill. Anyone knows it’s dill.

William: Not fennel?

Shastra: Dill. I know it. I’ve planted it.

William: You’re sure?

Shastra: This looks like dill, it tastes like dill, it must be dill.

William: I don’t know. I still think it’s fennel.

Shastra: Look, fennel is not dill. That’s why I know. I’m not saying anything anymore.

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Voiceover

Winning arguments is not always about using logic.

Insistence sometimes wins the day.

Are you in the fennel camp using phrases like "I still think..." or in the dill camp using phrases such as "I know it..."?

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Holiday's over

Michael grumbles but Sara is not entirely sympathetic.
...

Michael: Seven weeks of the eight gone and what have I got to show for it?

Sara: I told you, didn't I!

Michael: I know, I know, but time just slips by.

Sara: You have to compartmentalize your time, even on holiday. Bill Clinton was good at it.

Michael: I'm not Bill Clinton, I'm nearly retired. And I'll tell you this. There's a difference between those working and and those not working and their attitude to time.

Sara: Which is?

Michael: Those working have boxes to fill with time. Regular boxes with a fixed volume. Those not working carry around balloons. They can fill their balloons with a little time, or a lot of time. For them, time flows, time is fluid, time is rubbery.

_________
Voiceover

Sara uses standard inflammatory chunks "I told you..." and "You have to..." to chastize hapless Michael.

Michael, shoulders rising, looking away, enters defence mode, using expressions like "I know, I know..." and "I'm not..." to deflect criticism.

Then he plays a canny defence move. He enters analytical mode, taking the focus off the personal and soaring into the philosophical with his treatise on Time.
...

Space pen

A pen and pencil lie on the table in front of Vladimir.

...

Vladimir: You know the story about the Americans and the Russians during the 1960’s space race?

George: Which one?

Vladimir: About writing in space.

George: I think I’ve heard that, how did it go again?

Vladimir: The problem was that ordinary pens couldn’t write in space so the Americans spent a million dollars developing the ball-point pen. Then they wanted to find out how the Russians wrote notes in space. They found that they just used pencils.

George: Ha, I remember that now. Use of existing resources.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­____________

Voiceover

In retelling an old story, Vladimir is careful not to refer to the story too directly and thus lose the floor. George is slow on the pickup and Vladimir can get extra ground from being the one to deliver the punch-line to this well-known story. George is left to deliver the moral of this story since he is unable to offer a better one.

...

It's easy when you know how

Columbus is challenged by others questioning whether what he did was really so great.

...

Lord F: Christopher, let me suggest something. There are many of us who could have done what you did.

Christopher: Did?

Lord F: Sailing to the New World. We all know the stars, we all have a sense of adventure.

Christopher: Probably.

Lord F: So what did you do that was special?

Christopher: Pass me an egg. Now, can someone stand this egg on its end, with no support?

(All try, all fail, the egg rolls over.)

Christopher: Watch.

(Christopher drops the egg gently on its end, crushing it slightly, it stands.)

Christopher: You see, it’s easy when you know how.

____________

Voiceover

Great rejoinder. Great way counteract detractors.

Genius finds the way, mortals can follow.

Did Columbus think of the egg example first? Could it have been Filippo Brunelleschi 15 years earlier when officials asked to see how he proposed to erect the Firenze Duomo?

...

English is risky

Amir runs a coffee shop, many customers are Chinese tourists, but his waiter, Rajiv, has problems getting their orders right.

...

Amir: Fourth time this week. Customer says you brought him an espresso when he asked for a latte.

Rajiv: Customer changed his mind. First he says espresso, then he says mocha, then he says espresso. When I bring it he says latte.

Amir: I know. Changes. But you have to write down and show them what you write. Double check.

Rajiv: And if they can’t read?

Amir: But you can read. Anyway, English has many risks. Cover yourself.

_____________

Voiceover

Communication between to speakers of different languages, in a third language, holds many possibilities for misunderstanding.

To reduce the risks of misunderstanding, you need to be doubly alert, and double the double checks.

Check the body language, listen to pronunciation, repeat vocabulary and rephrase grammar.

...

Could I have a try?

Voices off
...

Female: Is that your, er, ikebana?
Male: What do you think?
Female: Hmmm. Could I have a try?
Male Go ahead.

… 30 minutes later…

Female: There, what do you think?
Male: Yes. Better than mine, I have to admit.
Female: You see, the arrangement has to be matched to the pot. It’s a narrow neck, so I thought I’d emphasize it with the flowers.
Male. Brilliant. I admit it.

__________
Voiceover
Women know that men can be defensive even when they have no idea about how to do something. Women are likely to be deferential and subtle. “Could I have a try?”

Men sometimes scoff at something a woman does even when it is as good as a male accomplishment. But when the female’s performance clearly surpasses that of a male’s, some men will acknowledge it. “I have to admit. I admit it.”

Is it because of communication patterns that women have to outperform men just to be accepted?

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Seeking identity

Roger is searching for roots but it is not as easy as he thinks.

...

Herr Schmidt: Guten Tag. Haben Sie…

Roger: Ich heisse Roger. I am looking for my familien en kirke buken.

Herr Schmidt: Wie haben 100 Jahre buken,

Roger: I am sorry. English?

Herr Schmidt: A little. We have about thirty books from different villages containing baptism, confirmation, marriage, funeral records. What is the name, the date, the record, and the village of the ancestor you are looking for?

Roger: I don’t know the date, record or village. It was somewhere between 1750 to 1790.

Herr Schmidt: Let me show you a book. This one, two hundred pages. Finding what you look for will not be easy.

Roger: Written in Gothic, largely illegible, ink faded, pages falling out? Don’t you have this on computer?

Herr Schmidt: This is a church office. These are archives, but there is no budget for digitizing them.

__________

Voiceover

Roger has only a vague notion that his ancestor came from here. It might have been somewhere else. The church office records are not complete. He is wise to rethink his search. And given that the ancestor he is searching for accounts for only a thirty-second or a sixty-fourth part of his genes, he may be wise to give up hoping that ancestor-hunting will produce his identity. He would do better to think about who he really is.

...

State of Emergency

William calls up Nok in Thailand after a state of emergency has been declared.
...
William: Are you OK?

Nok: Fine. Why?

William: I just read on yahoo a state of emergency has been declared in Thailand.

Nok: Oh yes. Again.

William But apparently Samak ordered the military in.

Nok: Well, the story is probably a bit overstated. The military have appeared but they don’t carry guns.

William: Take care.

Nok: Thai protests are usually quite gentle.

William: Except for the guy that died of head injuries.

_________
Voiceover

Media hype? When not much is happening, a declaration like a state of emergency in Thailand will grab readers’ attention and so it is pushed to the top of the news listings. Page viewings of the event probably owe more to tourists worried about flight delays than a concern for Thai politics.
...