"Sweet as": an unfinished simile

After the workout…

Rockabilly: Do you need to take a shower?

Bruce: I’m clean as a whistle, cool as a cucumber, sweet as.

Rockabilly: Sweet as?

Bruce: You know. I’m good.

Rockabilly: Good as gold? So how do you end “sweet as”?

Bruce: You don’t. The expression stops right there.

Rockabilly: Sounds like an unfinished simile.

Bruce: Or an empty simile.

Rockabilly: Where do they use this?

Bruce: My neck of the woods. Downunder. Say “sweet as” to an American and they wait for you to finish it.

Rockabilly: You noted my mystified look.

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Voice-over

The list of similes built on “sweet as” is extensive. “Sweet as honey” (Homer),  “sweet as damask roses," (Shakespeare), “sweet as if angels sang” (Shelley). The unfinished "sweet as" is a common New Zealand expression. As vacuous as the contemporary reliance on “awesome.”

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Being there

JB has bought an expensive pair of earphones, better than FG's standard issue.

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FG: But, c’mon, why spend that much? You get a free set of earphones with your iPod. Why would you want to spend more than the music player on just another set of earphones?

JB: Upgrade. More than an upgrade. Think of it this way. You’ve got this great stream of music in the player and it reaches your ears through a pathetic little pipe.

FG: Doesn’t say much. You can still hear what’s coming through.

JB: OK. Sound coming through those little el-cheapo one-dollar earphones is merely dynamic vibrations. These earphones have three mini-amplifiers, each dedicated to a different range of frequencies. They separate the sounds so you hear each instrument, like seeing bright colors instead of a muddy blur.

FG: Really?

JB: Not only that but the earphones sit tightly in your ears and block out surrounding sounds.

FG: Is it worth the extra?

JB: It’s like being there. Actually being there. Your eyes start to see what your ears hear.

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Voiceover

JB is on the defence but he’s marshalling some convincing arguments.

He reinforces (Upgrade. More than an upgrade… like being there, actually being there…).

He uses contrast by denigrating the lesser product (el-cheapo one-dollar… pathetic little pipe…).

His similes show the upgrade in a superior light (like seeing bright colors instead of a muddy blur).

Oh, he alliterates and rhymes (You start to see what your ears hear). Poetic style. He gets my vote despite the economics.

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