Choking and Falling

Discussing recent medical checks…
Simon: Went for my annual check-up yesterday. New questionnaire. First question: “How many times a week do you experience choking while eating?”
George: Choking? Huh, cheerful opener. Mine started with, “Have you had a fall or a near fall in the last six months?” I told him, “Define near fall.”
Simon: The hallway’s become my unofficial handrail. I should install actual ones, but I’d miss the thrill.

George: Thrill? You mean the adrenaline rush of wondering if tonight’s the night your hip meets the floor?
Simon: That’s it. He also asked if I’ve noticed any memory loss. I said, “I don’t remember.”
George: Classic. Mine asked if I’ve had any unexplained weight loss. I said, “Only when I forget to eat lunch.”
__________
Voice-over
Doc used to ask about prostate screening. Not anymore. When you ask why, he says, “At your age, something else will likely carry you off before that kicks in.” Like being told the fire alarm’s broken but don’t worry, the building’s already on fire.

Leg swelling

After the 12 hour flight from Rome…

Ariana: What do you this about this lump in my leg? 

Yuka: Let’s have a look... No redness, no swelling. Is it painful? 

Ariana: None.

Yuka: Well, better get it checked out. There’s a vascular specialist not far from here. I can take you.

Ariana: That serious?

Yuka: Better safe than sorry.

_________

Voice-over

A long flight with prolonged immobility can trigger thrombophlebitis, either superficial or more serious (deep vein Thrombosis). Yuka is onto it.

Winter Weight Gain

Stubborn winter weight loss…

Samantha: How’s the weather treating you?

Victoria: So up and so down. One day hot, one day cold. And I can’t control my comfort foods.

Samantha: Binging?

Victoria: Not binging but I’m putting on weight.

Samantha: You've got nothing to worry about. You always look fabulous!"

Victoria: Seriously. Six kilos up in six months.

Samantha: Mmm. Hard to stay active when it's freezing outside. And in cold weather, our bodies crave more calories, even if we're not using them all.

Victoria: I’ve tried indoor exercises.

Samantha: It’s got to be sustained. And vigorous. Have you tried dance?

___________

Voice-over

Dance, aerobics, tai chi, they all help. It’s harder than when we were younger.

Wart Burnoff

Visiting the Skin Clinic…

William: What about this?

Dr. Coat: That's a wart.

William: Well what about that, then?

Dr. Coat: That's a mole.

William: And this?

Dr. Coat:  That's a freckle.

William: Well just look at this! It looks really suspicious!

Dr. Coat: That's another wart.

William: But it doesn't look like the other wart.

Dr. Coat:  It's a different kind of wart.

William: Maybe this is a cancerous wart.

Dr. Coat:  Warts aren't cancerous.

William: But feel it, it's all rough. It says on Mayo Clinic that melanoma can feel rough.

Dr. Coat:  Lots of things can feel rough. But let’s not take any chances. We’ll burn them all off.

_________

Voice-over

Dr Coat is having a rough time with William Worrywart, final patient of the day.

Nagging vs Encouraging

A message comes in…

Alec: What’s that message on your watch?

Stanley: It says “Stand up.” After I walk around for a minute it will praise me and say “Well done.”

Alec: Is that nagware?

Stanley: Not really. Nagware is usually used as a marketing technique to encourage users to buy a product or upgrade. Sometimes it’s regarded as pushy or a negative experience. This is a health tracker so the messaging is more encouraging than nagging.

Alec: Uh huh. So It’s supposed to support the watch wearer’s exertions?

Stanley: It’s supposed to be motivational, prompting users to track their progress, stay hydrated, get enough sleep.

__________

Voice-over

What might be seen as encouragement by one person might be regarded as nagging by another. People have different thresholds for what they regard as encouraging or intrusive.

LINAC and the Iron Lung

The treatment has a pattern...

Analog treatment

Paul: I wake in the morning perky as a box of birds. Work the morning until 11 then hop on the e-bike with a Heigh Ho Silver to the hospital. After the treatment and into the evening, I feel a bit as if my brain has been hacked.

Dr Samuelson: A zombie?

Paul: Not that bad. The drop in chirpiness comes after being loaded into the LINAC. Reminds me of those iron lungs used in the 1950s.

Dr Samuelson: But your head is inside the LINAC isn’t it, while the head is outside the iron lung?

Paul: I didn’t mean it is an iron lung, just that it reminded me of one.

Digital treatment

Dr Samuelson: An iron lung is a mechanical respirator. A LINAC is pumping X-rays into you.

Paul. Granted. And a patient spent weeks or even years in
an iron lung and only spends minutes in a LINAC.

____________

Voice-over

Quite different technologies. Analog vs digital.

Radiation Room Questions

Questions to deflect anxieties…

Patient: Is this a linear accelerator plus MRI?

Radiation Therapist: Linear accelerator plus CT scanner.

Patient: Is it new?

Radiation Therapist: Two years old.

Patient: Expensive?

Radiation Therapist: Very.

Emerging after ten minutes in the tunnel…

Patient: I heard something go round and round. 29 times.

Radiation Therapist: That was the gantry revolving around you, delivering the beam.

Patient: Same again tomorrow?

Radiation Therapist: You have 32 sessions.

________

Voice-over

 

Intimidating sounding names. Cyclotron. Synchrocylotron. Linear Accelerator or LINAC. For accelerating particles, magnetically directed to a target, in this case, a human body. The operators are the radiation therapist (放射線療法士) and the dosimetrist (線量測定士).

Bluetooth Toothbrush

Unboxing a new device

Aurora: The latest thing in toothbrushes. Ta da!

Jo: Electric?

Aurora: And that’s not all. It has a tongue-scrubber. And Bluetooth built-in.

Jo: So your teeth come up blue after brushing?

Aurora: Very funny. The brush sends data
on how long you clean, where you brush, what pressure you use by Bluetooth to your phone and gives you a score.

Jo: And your score?

Aurora: I get above 90%. And a map each time showing the teeth I missed.

_________

Voice-over

A new device that belongs to the Internet of Things (IoT). Did this influence the name Oral-B iO? Maybe Internet of Orthodontics? Or Interactive Oscillations?

Rattly ball joint

At the surgery…

.

Osteopath: How are things?

.

Patient: Everything’s falling to bits. My hip joint is giving me pain, and my car has rattly ball joints too.

.

Osteopath: Hmm, could be inflammation.

.

Patient: Do I need a hip replacement?

.

Osteopath: Unlikely. And something to be avoided. I had one patient who had a titanium hip joint. But the ball kept popping out its socket. Six times this happened each time he fell.

.

Patient: Injured?

.

Osteopath: The final fall was fatal.

__________

Voice-over

An aging car can be a metaphor for an aging person. Performance decreases, joints get rattly, more maintenance is required. Vehicles need regular inspections. If the repairs are costly, the vehicle may be scrapped. And if a person fails an inspection?

...

Three Eggs

Good luck comes in threes…

.

M. Poulet: Why do you say white rabbit three times every first day of the month?

.

3 x 3 = 9

Mme. Lapin: Brings luck. For that month.

.

M. Poulet: Is the number three critical?

.

Mme. Lapin: I actually say it three times, three times, three times. Total of nine. Trebles the luck. I see you’ve made nine eggs. You always do things by threes?

.

M. Poulet: Three soft-boiled eggs a day. That’s a three-day supply. I think ahead.

__________

Voice-over

Three eggs a day seems to be safe enough for cholesterol levels. Eggs raise HDL. For most people, there is no increase in LDL.

...

.

Competitive conversation

Helga finds it difficult to change the subject when talking to her elderly mother. Her older friend Astrid, has some observations on this.

...

Helga: I was talking to her last night, and you know, as usual, from minute 1 to goodbye, it was all about health. The heart, the nausea, the back ache.

Astrid: It’s all old people are conscious of. Haven't you noticed, it’s all about health and the past. The aches and pains and how things were better before.

Helga: And young people talk about their plans and the future and what they’re going to do, almost never health.

Astrid: Maybe diet.

Helga: But sometimes I think old people talking about health are almost competing. My back pain is a lot worse then your back pain. You think you have a bad knee? That’s nothing! I can’t even get up the steps without my stick.

Astrid: Well maybe competition runs through conversation of the old and the young, just the topics change. Like young guys. My car is faster then yours. And we women, you know my sister asked me just yesterday, what have you done to your hair? It was an opener so she could show off her new hairstyle.

__________

Voiceover

Competition in conversation, or capping what someone else is saying, may, as Astrid surmises, be seen in the talk of men and women, old and young, irrespective of topic.

You finish telling a story and someone else chips in with, “I remember once when Doris and I…"

Substitute “I remember once…” with “Have you heard the one about…” or “Let me tell you…” or “That’s nothing…” and you are in a round of storytelling where each punch line is expected to be more surprising than the last. If it isn’t, the narrator loses.

...