How to extend a lockdown

Stats

Behind closed doors…

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PM: So do we end it or extend it?

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Stephen of Stats: The model shows if we hold on for another two weeks we can come down to almost zero. We have a good chance of eliminating the virus.

Health

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Doc of Health: We’ve got pretty low numbers. Businesses want to get back to work. Their protests are getting louder.

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PM: We need a spin on this. Stephen, how about you go on TV and radio first thing in the morning, saying we need two more weeks. Then I’ll make the afternoon announcement saying we’ll extend for one week. I’ll start by saying what a grand job everyone’s done, how patient they’ve been. Then I’ll bury the extension about Minute 8. And then Doc, I’ll hand over and you back me up.

PM

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Doc of Health: Queen's Knight to f3?

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Stephen of Stats: That's the story.

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Voice-over

Classic PR crisis management communication. Leak bad news early on. Follow up with good news that the curve is flattening. Bury the less good news that we need to keep pushing it down. Game it. End with a sports analogy. We’re only at half-time. Need to keep up the pressure. We’re all in this together. We can do it.

...

Three Station Announcements

on the Central Line...

Three Hawks,
Kitsch George
Olive Oil

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Announcement: Stopping now at Three Hawks. The doors on the right side will open. We will stop briefly to let an express train to pass. Those passengers wishing to arrive downtown quicker please transfer to the express on the opposite sided of the platform ... Doors closing.

Next station is Kitsch George. Change here for the Village Well Line. Doors on the right side will open. Mind the gap ... Doors closing. Next station is Olive Oil.

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Voice-over

Precise announcements in the manner of those admirable Japanese train services. Make allowances for the station names being personally rendered as direct translations and approximated English.

...

Air France AF 447 announcement

Announcement of a missing plane.

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Official: It’s missing. We are very worried. The plane disappeared from the screens several hours ago. It could be a transponder problem, but this kind of fault is very rare and the plane didn't land when expected.

­­­­­­­­­­_________

Voiceover

 

Stages in handling news of a disaster: (1)  introduce anxiety first, to pave the way towards the probably inevitable awful denouement, (2) cushion the impending tragedy by noting the rarity of the event (3) highlight steps being taken to cope with the problem (4) extend support to relatives waiting for news (5) finally to soften a very hard landing by acknowledging acceptance.

 

With expressions like these:

 

“AF 447 drops from radar…”

“We are very worried.”

“…this kind of fault is very rare…”

“Air traffic control lost contact with the Airbus A330 at 0600 GMT as it crossed the ocean.”

“Airport authorities have set up a crisis cell at Charles de Gaulle.”

“Brazil air force searching for missing aircraft…”

"Air France shares the emotion and worry of the families concerned."

"We have lost hope for the missing jet.”
“There is a real pessimism at this hour about the fate of the aircraft.”
"We can fear the worst."

Fly the Unfriendly Skies

Untied Pilot advising passengers of delay...

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18:30 Pilot: Sorry folks, we’ve had a little problem at the gate, I’m just going down to sort it out, this could delay our departure by a couple of minutes.
(Sigh)

19:00 Pilot: Sorry folks to keep you waiting. All fixed now. We should be on our way in ten minutes.
(Good old Untied, they never miss a chance)

20:00 Pilot: Apologies again folks. I’ll just update you to keep you in the loop. A passenger was denied boarding because he was drunk. Our airline has zero tolerance for alcohol so we had to deny him. Unfortunately he took a swing at me. The doc has OKed me but regulations state I have to complete some paperwork. It shouldn’t take more than an hour. (Oh no, what kind of pilot have we GOT here? What kind of airline IS this?)

21:15 Pilot: Hello again folks. Sorry, it took a bit longer than expected. Unfortunately we have lost our place in the line so we’ll have to hold here for another half hour until we’re cleared for takeoff.
(Could I have a glass of water? Sorry, water's off)

21:40 OK folks. We’re on our way. Get you there as quickly as possible.
(Where is this pilot GOING? He's heading NORTH, we should be heading SOUTH).

______________
Voice-over
300 people were kept waiting for three hours. The airline blames the drunk. But I wonder if the airline regulations weren’t at the heart of this Kafkaesque episode.

Managing problems like this requires some commonsense. First, and most obviously, an airline captain should not be exposed to potential physical injury prior to or during a flight. Second, backup airline personnel should be on hand to cope with such events and to do the paperwork so the flight can depart on time. Third, some better prediction of how long the process would take with appropriate announcements and actions like deplaning passengers to the lounge could be expected. Fourth, would you have confidence in flying with a pilot who has just been assaulted? And lastly, this simplistic “zero tolerance” attitude seems to be encapsulated in the “You’re either with us, or you’re against us.” For their dedicated efforts to mismanage this event, Untied Airlines gets the award for “The Worst Flight I Have Ever Taken.”
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