Energy saving alternatives

The Vice Chancellor, in an attempt to appear green, asks Frank, an architect, about modernizing the Old Administration Building.
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VC: We've got this old building on campus, nice old classic. Georgian. But the high ceilings, tall windows, devil of a thing to heat in winter.

Frank. Uh. The old admin block.

VC: So what I was think was, what if we dropped the ceiling from fifteen feet to ten? And put in aluminium windows.

Frank: It'll cost. Building like that, you're talking three or four mill.

VC. Hmm.

Frank: I say, don't do it. You'll end up wrecking a perfectly good building. Here's a deal. Raise a million from some alumni. Put up a 1 megawatt wind-generator on some farmer's land. Give the farmer's kids free tuition. Sell the electricity to the national grid. That's more than enough to pay for the energy costs for the old admin building. And you'll have some cash left over.

_________
Voiceover

Economizing doesn't always mean paying more to downsize.

Frank is forthright about how to approach this problem. Don't do this. Do that instead.

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Mercator

An interview with the famous mapmaker.

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Q: You are Gerardus Mercator and live in Duisburg?

Mercator: My name was Gheert Cremer and I was from the Netherlands.

Q: You were charged with heresy?

Mercator: I was distrusted because I traveled so much.

Q: You came to Duisburg for religious reasons?

Mercator: I may also have come to open a cartography business and teach mathematics.

Q: You have always been a mapmaker?

Mercator: No, I was originally an engraver of brass plates.

Q: Is your method of projecting the sphere onto a two dimensional map useful?

Mercator: It is easier to roll up a map than a sphere. But it is a distortion. Africa looks the same size as Greenland but Africa is actually fourteen times the size of Greenland.

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Voiceover

Mercator’s life was was not quite as it seemed. His maps were not quite as the world is. Maps are…. picturesque deceptions. Yes.

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Bumped up

On arriving at the airport, Sergei TXTs Alexander on what happened at check in.

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Sergei: THNX 4 seeing me off. Taxi only took 20 mins, But at check in…

Alexander: What happened?

Sergei: Unbelievable, after being waitlisted 4 months on Thai Air, finally last week getting a seat, I get to the airport & find ... What!

Alexander: Oh no! It's a code share with Biman?!

Sergei: I can hear you chortling & wheezing from the taxi as I return to town.

Alexander: Stop it! I could have a heart attack. So much mirth is more than a mere mortal can take.

Sergei: Other day they confirmed me in Seat 11A window. I get here they sorry BC full, we have to move you to Seat 1A, other class. I’ve left in a huff. I try again tomorrow.

Alexander: Hope ur huff didnt stop u picking up ur obligatory $200 compensation

Sergei: Just recalled that so've comeback, nice lady tell me 1A in 1st class so I ask $200 compo & seat 1A as well. You think all Sorbs stupid?

Alexander: Great, but to be on safe side suggest avoid the preflight polonium welcome drink. And don’t be fooled when they land at some hangar in an expanse of tundra where the sign is being freshly painted: in German Frankfurt is "Gulaggrad"

Sergei: Who cares where this all ends? FC lounge is pretty spiffy, 4 waitresses on bended knees putting tubes in both arms, Hey, what's that sign "BUMRUNGRAD HOSPICE"? They’re asking me to sign a form.

Alexander: Just sign - this the nearest you'll get to heaven. You may even be there already.

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Voiceover

Sergei cranks up the suspense while Alexander plays the devil.

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You can't miss it

Ernestine tries to pin down optimistic Olga on a meeting point.

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Olga: There’s a chicken stall outside the station.

Ernestine: Easy to find?

Olga: Near the exit. Can’t miss it.

Ernestine: East exit or west?

Olga: It’s the one with the Nokia ad.

Ernestine: Remember my mobile’s at home.

Olga: No worries. I’ll see you.

Ernestine: You’ll see me? What time?

Olga: Threeish.

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Voiceover

Expressions intended to reassure, like “You can’t miss it,” or “No worries,” can be unsettling. Especially to those who like plans, details, are nervous, or those without a mobile in this GPS, GoogleMaps era.

Pre-mobile phones, we fixed a time and place. And had a backup plan.

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Games and Movies

Tina is not a gamer, but Thor keeps tabs on them all.
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Tina: The graphics are spiffy and all, but all that bang, bang and noise?

Thor: Some are non-violent. SimCity…

Tina: They’re only a minority. And what’s this about violent games causing antisocial behavior? The boy who went beserk after two days playing… what was it?

Thor: Grand Theft Auto?

Tina: And he went mad in a supermarket and jumped on a turtle. A defenceless turtle. What did the turtle ever do to him?

Thor: Media frenzy making simplistic links. Sloppy research. Ask more questions. What kind of parents would let a ten year old play a computer game for two straight days? Look elsewhere for the causal factors.

Tina: Anyway, Games demand too much in the way of decisions and clicking. I like to sit and watch and have a narrator tell me the story.

Thor: There is such a game, Metal Gear Solid 4. Part game but slows down and becomes a movie in places. Nice graphics. Japanese designer Hideo Kojima. Cinematic.

Tina: Will it make me want to go and jump on turtles?


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Voiceover
Not all gamers communicate in monosyllables and have no eye contact. Reviewers of gamers often write eloquently. And doing justice to a visual experience can be a pretty daunting challenge using only text.


MGS4 raises an interesting question. Are games and movies mutually unintelligible narrative dialects?

Short term memory loss

Eldred is looking for the house keys. Again.

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Eldred: Two minutes ago I had them! Not in any of my pockets. Gezina, have you seen the house keys?

Gezina: You mean the ones you are holding in your hand?

Eldred [Looking at his hand. Disbelievingly.]: Is this the first sign? The beginnings of short term memory loss?

Gezina: Have you forgotten all the other times? Not only do you forget your keys, you forget that it happens three times a week.

Eldred: And you never forget?

Gezina: You see? You have also forgotten that I never forget. Women don’t forget things. Men do. Maybe you need a course of exercises.

Eldred: Exercises.

Gezina: Mental exercises. But some physical exercises would also help while you’re about it.

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Voiceover

In defence of Eldred, women can forget things.

Like checking the breaker switch when the power goes off? But that is a minor technical issue and not necessary for survival.

Or forgetting how much more a taxi costs than a bus ride? That is selective memory, and necessary for survival.

Perhaps, then, Eldred’s memory problem is more serious than Gezina’s.

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Pentagon hole

Stephen is convinced that no 757 went into the Pentagon.

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Stephen: The hole’s too small. So what happened to the wings?

Danny: They may have sheared off on impact.

Stephen: There were no wings on the ground. No one saw any plane parts, wings, tail, engines.

Danny: But given the incompetence of the present administration, how could they possibly turn the explosion into a plane crash? And what did they do with the flights that did disappear?

___________
Voiceover
Conspiracy theories sometimes raise more questions than they answer. Proponents have to think three moves ahead.

A wry humorous scepticism can help disbelievers cope with the passionate onslaught; likewise, a wry humorous demeanor can help proponents come across as more convincing.

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Wine descriptions

Paul waxes lyrical to Pierre over tonight’s wine.

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Paul: Rich with lots of spicy, earth-scented black cherry and berry flavors, hinting deliciously at chocolate on the smooth finish.

Pierre: It had a good nose. But it wasn’t a chocolate finish. More like an earthy resonance.

Paul: You can’t be serious. You’re talking about that sweetness at the back of the palate?

Pierre: The very spot.

Paul: Not earthy though.

Pierre: One man’s sweetness is another’s earthiness.

Paul: If you say so.

_________

Voiceover:

Of the five basic tastes of sweet, sour, spicy, bitter, salty, perhaps only the first three can be used to describe wine.

Beyond that, the wine writer has to become creative and inventive. As they do.

Using words to describe taste sensations is like trying to use words to talk about music; friendships can founder.

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Bird play

Francis talks to a gull.

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Francis: You’re playing, aren’t you.

Gull: Rao.

Francis: Just playing on the updraft.

Gull: Rao.

Francis: Play? Usually means amusement for humans. Play usually has a serious purpose for animals. Perhaps you’re playing to practice flying skills?

Gull: Wheee.

Francis: But when would you need to fly upside down? No purpose in that. Just fun. Playing, definitely playing.

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Voiceover

Man talks to bird. Correction. Man talks himself through bird. Is that the basis of anthropomorphism?

A dialogue with oneself leads to revelation. Correction. Depending on the dialogue, depending on the self addressed, a self-interview MIGHT lead to some understanding.

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Train whistles

Marcus, steam train buff, and student of train whistles, instructs his nephew, Jerome.

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Marcus: Whistles go back a way.

Jerome: I guess they signal something?

Marcus: Sure. You know what long-long-short-long means?

Jerome: Nope.

Marcus: Approaching a public crossing. Rule 14L.

Jerome: Hmm. Hoot. Hoot. Hoooooot. Hoot?

Marcus: You got it. But the system can do emotions too.

Jerome: Sad whistles as in Woody Guthrie?

Marcus: Can be a whole railroad folk song in one steam train whistle hoot. Like this. Listen.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­___________

Voiceover

Signaling systems have a limited lexicon. “Watch out! Coming through.”

Language systems have big refined lexicons and complicated syntactic systems. “See you downtown in the King George for a pint after I hand over 454 to maintenance?“

And yet the mechanistic signaling system early on was adapted to include emotional expression. Unsurprising really since emotions probably preceded lexis.

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Pessimistic opening

Marcel calls on his invalid sister, Hannah.

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Marcel: How's things?

Hannah: Couldn’t be worse. Rotten weather. Everyone coughing. And a storm forecast for tomorrow.

Marcel: Grizzleguts. Any good news?

Hannah: None. I'm not even going to get up today.

Marcel: Here's some good news. 888.

Hannah: Meaning?

Marcel: Today is year 08, Month 08, Day 08. Some think 8 is lucky. Especially Chinese. Makes today triple lucky. Get up. Believe something good will happen.

____________

Voiceover

"You want to hear the bad news or the good news first?" Pessimistic people often don't even give you that option. The doom chorus conversational opening sets the tone. Marcel rows hard to pull the conversation into an optimistic current.

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Skeleton in the cupboard

Bruce helps George cope with the family papers.
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Bruce: You have a basic taxonomy.

George: Sure do. Box 1. Personal. Box 2. Projects.

Bruce: So where do you file obituaries?

George: Box 1. Biographical information.

Bruce: Okay. So how about these transcripts of taped conversations between Aunt Flo and Aunt Jo about the great grandparents?

George: Easy. Box 1. Biographical information. Subsection: Recollections.

Bruce: And these pictures of… seems like two rugby teams?

George: Don’t recognize either of them. Throw 'em out.

Bruce: How about you make another category? Pre-trash? Throw them out later.

George: All the papers are pre… what you say? Pre-trash. Somebody will throw them out eventually. Oh, hang on, here’s some letters. Uh-oh. Highly sensitive. Burn 'em.

Bruce: 1940? These people all died years ago.

George: Dangerous stuff.

Bruce: How about we put them in a sealed envelope, restrict access to cleared people.

George: Ha! Classified documents. Like the CIA, huh? A secure archive. Sounds better.

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Voiceover

Daunting task, tidying old papers at the end of life.

Some categories become overstuffed, others undernourished.

Sometimes boxes contain letters which might best be burned. It may be obstructing historical research but cautious George is aware of the fact that there are no controls after we’ve gone.
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Second opinion

Ian thinks he needs a second opinion on what is causing his burping. Kingsley advises him advisedly.
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Ian: I just know it’s a peptic ulcer.
Kingsley: Have you had one before?
Ian: No, but I looked it up on the Internet and the symptoms correspond.
Kingsley: And yet your doctor doesn’t think so?
Ian: Just keeps saying it’s no more than gastritis. I need a second opinion.
Kingsley: Maybe you do. But let me suggest something. Tell the doctor you’d like him recommend someone for a second opinion.
Ian: He’ll suggest someone who would agree with him.
Kingsley: Maybe. There are some rascals. But if you ask him to suggest someone, he’s more likely to stay involved and he might listen to another professional.

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Voiceover
It can be easy to alienate a professional. Not always but some get miffed when their opinions are questioned.
“I’m going to get a second opinion,” is like dashing water in the face of some sensitive souls.
Kingsley’s suggestion maintains the dialogue. And it becomes a discussion. The doctor doesn’t lose face and doesn’t lose the patient. The patient doesn’t lose the doctor and may form a team.
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Catastrophe Theory

René defends his mathematical theory’s ability to predict history.

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Student: Can you give us a definition?

René: It’s the loss of stability in a dynamic system.

Student: And can you give us an example?

René: Well, a river flowing along suddenly drops into a catastrophic waterfall.

Student: Catastrophic for the river or the swimmer?

René: Both. But the maths can also predict why stockmarkets jump around. That’s its use in the financial markets.

Student: Have you used it to buy stocks?

René: I’m more interested in applying it to history. Here, this calculation shows that the French Revolution was the precipitating factor for France caving in so quickly when Germany last invaded us.

__________

Voiceover

Typical pattern of presenting an idea.

(1) Provide a definition.

(2) Give examples.

René Thom’s Catastrophe Theory got a lot of attention in the 1970s until it became difficult to apply it to scenarios involving more than five variables.

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Robot dogs robot cats robot husbands

Murasaki and Akane used to keep pets, now they have children.

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Murasaki: The good thing about Aibo was that I could get him to mind the baby. But my husband wanted to program Aibo to fetch and messed up his software and the Sony helpdesk isn’t manned anymore so he just sits in a cupboard now.

Akane: I’m seriously thinking of getting a Dream Cat Smile.

Murasaki: They say they act so much like a real cat they’re creepy.

Akane: But no mess to clean up, no expensive vet bills. How about robot babies?

Murasaki: All we need is for Sony or Sega to invent a robot husband who would go to work every day and come home and clean up for us…

Akane: …and if he complained we could just switch him off and put him in a cupboard. Ha, ha.

__________

Voiceover

Sony stopped producing Aibo the robot dog in 2006, which annoyed quite a few people. What if God stopped producing children? There’d be some testy mothers, then.

But along comes Sega with a robot cat, see how it suits Chris Davies at http://www.slashgear.com/slashgear-review-yume-neko-smile-sega-toys-robot-cat-part-1-203981.php