How to pitch your spiel to an Aussie board? Just talk to them local-like. Breeze in and greet them with…
"Hi mites. Jeez, whaddya doing working down here in the back of Bourke? Ha Ha! Never mind. How bout a glass of Dally Plonk ‘fore we get started? Got some right here up me jumper. Some chokkies too. There you go. Now, believe me Steve, I got the good oil on a bunch of bushrangers, and a gaggle of other drongos to give the aggro to, and I can give you a gander on this before too long. Really been flat out like a lizard drinking on this, it's in my bag here.... (sound of fossicking) Holey dooley! Gimme a break.Think I left the prezzie in the overhead bin of the Qantie bus. No worries, though. You'll be grinning like shot foxes when you hear the stories I've got to tell, so listen up! You got a fair suck of the sav coming, I guarantee! Awesome!”
One final tip. Wear a cork hat, that’ll go down a treat.
Did Ricardo follow this advice? Not being one to believe a native-born Aussie, he didn’t. And lucky he didn’t forget his luggage. He did the presentation. And lucky he didn’t wear the cork hat. One of the committee turned out to be French, one was Chinese and one was American. Would have gone down like a lead balloon.
back of Bourke = remote
Dally plonk = Dalmatian wine
up me jumper = stashed away
chokkies = chocolates
good oil = useful information
bushrangers = bad guys
drongos = no-hopers
give you a gander = show you
give the aggro to = attack
flat out like a lizard drinking = really busy
Holy dooley = Cripes!
preszzie = presentation
Qantie = Qantas
No worries = No matter
grinning like shot foxes = very happy
fair suck of the sav = disbelief