Saturday, April 7, 2012

Needless to say...


The manager speaks…
Let me begin by saying (1) that there may be a problem. That said(2), I feel sure it can be solved. Needless to say(3), there are sacrifices(4), we must all pitch in to overcome the issue, think outside the box on it, and run it up the flagpole to achieve a paradigm shift, so at the end of the day, we will all come out of it better people and ready to go forward(5).
_____________
Voice-over
Suggested rewrite:
We need to make cuts in spending (what). A meeting tomorrow for everyone (who), 8 am sharp, (when), in the multipurpose room (where), to figure out a way how to pay this year’s tax (why).

  1. A declaration doesn’t need an introduction. Declare it.
  2. Giving reassurance is not necessary before a solution.
  3. If it is needless to say, it is needless to say.
  4. A warning followed by an exhortation is better replaced by details of the plan.
  5. Summarizing the "who," "when" and "where" is more effective than stringing transitions together.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sometimes people don’t need to say anything, yes. Too many words can make things less clear. And maybe they could use nonverbal methods. But sometimes in talking these “transition expressions” can soften what is said, make communication go smoother, don’t you think

Barry Natusch said...

Agreed. Transition expressions smooth the conversational current, like you use signals to show intention in traffic.