Pitching a Story

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Joel, the writer, gives a pitch for a scene to Robert, the direct-

or.

Joel: Picture this. Two guys in an office.

Robert: Names. I visualize imaginary people better when they have names.

Joel: OK. Jonno and Zenno. And Jonno's got this bandage on his hand, a big fat elastic bandage. And Zenno looks on the computer and downloads an X-ray of a mangled monkey's hand.

[Close-up of iPhone screen showing X-ray of all the bones broken in a hand.]

Now the boss comes in the room.

Robert: Boss have a name?

Joel: Steve. In jeans like Steve Jobs. Boss says, “How’d the weekend go?”

And Jonno answers, “Had a party. Fireworks.”

[Boss looks at Jonno’s bandaged hand.] “What happened? Not fireworks?”

Jonno says, “Just been up the hospital. Had an X-ray. Got it back on the iPhone.”

[Hands iPhone to boss.]

Boss says, “TOLD you to watch out for fireworks.” [Boss looks at the iPhone.] “Bloody hell! WHAT!”

[Jonno peels off the bandage and reveals unharmed hand.]

Robert: Go on. I'm listening.

Joel: Zenno and Jonno dissolve in laughter watching boss’ face go from shock and horror to exasperation.

Robert: OK. Run this by Serena. If she says OK, we'll shoot it.

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Voice-over

Pitching. Running a story by a director. Or a scene.

Characteristics: Present tense. Choppy sentences. Mix of dialogue and stage directions.

Listener pulls the pitch into focus, for example with requests for names.

By the way, Serena did say OK, they actually shot it and it’s here, (click to see) on YouTube!

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